I’ve always wanted to visit a Buddhist Temple. A snowy Superbowl Sunday seemed like the perfect occasion.
I chose Wat Buddha Thaivornvanaram – a modest Thai Buddhist Temple in Queens, NY. It’s one of 23 Buddhist Temples in Queens, and I had a good feeling about it. When I rang to inquire if guests were welcome and if I could speak with one of the Monks during my visit, “Tom,” a gentle, Thai man answered nearly all of my questions with three simple words – “Everyone is Welcome.” The visit was one of the best experiences I’ve had. I’ve shared a few of my favorite moments below:
(Photo: The temple and the statues on the grounds outside)
“Making Love Last”
Sunday services are conducted entirely in Thai language. I arrived just as Towin, the head Monk, was giving his “sermon.” Later he explained to me, in charming broken English, that he was speaking about how to make love last in a relationship, using the analogy of four different animals.
- “Sometimes we need to act like a camel to make love last. Camels go slowly, sometimes we need to be patient for our partner.”
- Sometimes we need to act like a fish. Fish cannot speak. Sometimes our partner needs us to just listen.
- Sometimes we need to act like dog. Dogs love unconditionally, even during difficult times.
- And sometimes we need to act like a cow. Most people think cows are not smart. Sometimes it is best to keep our opinions and knowledge to ourselves, and let our partner have their moment to shine and make their own decisions.
Simple, but wise words.
“Come On Baby, Eat With Us”
Monks are only allowed to eat one meal a day, which must be finished by 12 noon. (I could never be a monk). The congregants bring food to feed the Monks and share with one another. After the service ended, everyone assembled in a small kitchen. They worked seamlessly together, arranging endless platters of homemade Thai dishes of green curries, noodles, soups, meats, greens, etc. Not wanting to intrude, I hung back in the corner waiting for everyone to finish, and hoping to ask a few congregants some questions. Despite my efforts to be incognito - an older Thai woman approached me, put her hands around my waist and walked me to the table. “Come on baby, eat with us,” she said and smiled at me with a very happy, crooked, welcoming smile. I filled my plate and joined them.
“Ringo, Barbara and Charlie”
During lunch, I sat with two lovely women Ringo and Barbara, whose friend, Charlie, was going to be indoctrinated as a Monk that day. A very special occasion. Charlie was covered in tattoos, hair that hung over his eyes and dressed in white – the customary color to wear before an indoctrination ceremony, where he would receive his robe and have his head shaved. As a new Monk, Charlie will only have to give up 10 things, and he can resume normal life outside of the temple. Senior Monks who have committed their lives to the temple must renounce 127 things. When I asked him why he wanted to become a Monk – Charlie answered “It’s a long story. But I’ll make it short. I used to be a @#$%. I used to be angry. I used to care only about myself. But I’m changing.” Then he went outside to chain smoke to calm his nerves.
(Photo: Ringo and Barbara, and Charlie’s indoctrination ceremony)
Make a Wish
The head Monk, Towin, invited me to spend time in the meditation room at the end of the visit, which was nestled at the tippy top of the temple. It was a peaceful place, and as I was having a look around, a Thai woman named “Kay” entered. She was curious as to why a Jewish girl happened upon a Thai Buddhist temple. We knelt on the floor, speaking for more than an hour about Buddhism, Judaism, Thailand….asking each other questions and learning from what the other had to say. I asked if I could make a donation to thank the congregation for the time they spent with me. She motioned to where the donation box was, and said “you can make a donation, but you also need to make a wish for yourself.”
I closed my eyes, and wished for the thing that matters most to me.
(Photo: My visit with Kay in the meditation room)
Then I tiptoed back downstairs, so as not to interrupt Charlie’s indoctrination ceremony and back out into the snow. I don’t know that I’ll be back again to visit, but I won’t soon forget this Superbowl Sunday, which I punctuated with football, nachos, Beyonce and an evening with the people I love and new friends.
Here’s the thing I found the most profound about the Buddhist community based on my experience. They will tell you that you need to first learn about Buddhism, and understand it before you can adopt it and live by the principles. But regardless of whether you choose to dabble, explore or dive in head first – you will always be welcome in a Buddhist Temple with opens arms, open minds and open hearts. Everyone is welcome.
Southeast Asia Celebrates the New Year
